Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to about what’s going on in your life. Even seemingly minor things can sometimes derail your plans and leave you feeling depressed, anxious, or alone. Humans are social creatures—we seek out the company and comfort of others. When you need someone to talk to, you might feel like you’re being a burden, but you’re not. We’re going to look at some helpful tips for finding people to talk to about your problems.
Anonymous Chat Rooms
When you’re thinking, “I need someone to talk to…but not my mom,” anonymous chat rooms might be the way to go. It’s hard to talk to family members and friends about some things, especially if they’re not very open-minded or understanding. It can feel like you’ve hit a brick wall when all they have to say are common tropes like “It’ll be ok. It can always be worse.” Yikes. Who wants to hear that when they’re suffering?
Anonymous chat rooms offer the chance to retain your anonymity while still getting helpful advice. Usually, the advice comes from people who are currently going through or have gone through the same thing, so it’s genuine and useful. There are chat rooms all over the web for everything from depression and anxiety to unexpected pregnancies to casual chat rooms where you can just talk about whatever is on your mind.
Since you get to choose your screen name, your identity is always protected unless you give out your information. I would advise against doing so, as you never know who may be in the chat with you. Unfortunately, not everyone on the web has good intentions or wants to be helpful.
Don’t Be Afraid
The biggest thing that stands in the way of most people opening up about how they’re feeling is fear. Fear of not being understood, fear of rejection or reprimand, or of being ignored altogether. The first step to opening up and finding the right person to talk to is ditching that fear. When you find the right person to talk to, you’re not a burden. They’re not inconvenienced by your venting or looking for the conversation to end. The right person will listen—truly listen—to whatever you have to say without judgment. They may even have helpful advice, but even if they don’t, sometimes it’s just nice to have someone be quiet and let us unload on them.
It’s hard to get past the fear, but you can do it by asking yourself a few simple questions.
Is what I’m about to tell this person something that will make them uncomfortable?
Am I going to tell the whole truth or only give them parts of the story?
Do I think this person has my best interests in mind and truly cares about me and what I have to say?
Does this person listen well?
By asking yourself these questions, you can rule out certain people that may not be as helpful as others. That way, you minimize the risk of rejection and misunderstanding.
Be Open And Honest
When we’re venting, sometimes we don’t tell the whole story, and while that’s ok, being completely honest about the situation is usually the best way to ensure that you’re getting good advice. It helps build trust between you and your listener. Imagine if someone told you half of a story, you gave them advice on that situation, and they came back a week later distraught because things had turned out poorly. They hadn’t told you the whole story, so you gave advice on a half-crafted narrative.
This would likely make you feel like you can’t trust them or wonder why they held back. If you’re going to tell it, tell it true and in its entirety. There are some details, of course, that you can leave out in certain situations, but honesty is always the best way to go. It helps people trust you and as long as you’re being honest, you have nothing to be afraid of with the right person.
You Don’t Have To Continue To Talk To Anyone
One important thing to remember is that you’re not obligated to continue to talk to anyone. If you feel uncomfortable during the conversation, or simply don’t want to go on, you have a right to terminate the conversation and not return to it. Don’t let anyone pressure you into a conversation you don’t feel comfortable with!
The Bottom Line
Talking to other people can be a little frightening, especially when it comes to personal matters, but there are many ways around that fear. You can use anonymous chat rooms to protect your identity, and you never have to continue a conversation you’re not comfortable with. Remember that being honest is always the best way to get good advice and build trust between you and your listener.